article Fear of Being Irrational

Some days, I wonder if I’ve lost my mind. We’ve bet almost everything - our finances, our time, our energy - on this wild idea that we can change how people get their food. That we can make chemical-free, local food not just available, but normal. Convenient. Desirable.

It sounds bold. It also sounds… insane.

There’s this voice in my head that keeps asking, “Who do you think you are?” Like, seriously... who am I to think that we can be part of something so big? That we could play a role in reshaping an entire food system? That we could have some direct connection to this purpose? That we were placed here to do this?

That voice isn’t just about insecurity. It’s also about control. About ego. Because when you really start to believe you’re called to do something, it forces a choice: do you let go and trust? Or do you clench harder and try to force outcomes?

I keep coming back to the Stockdale Paradox—the idea that we must confront the brutal facts of our reality without ever losing faith in the end of the story.

The brutal facts? This is risky. It's financially exhausting. From the outside, it might even look foolish. We’re putting everything on the line for a future that hasn’t happened yet. For a vision that lives mostly in our heads and hearts.

But the faith? That’s still here. Or, at least, I'm trying to harness it. It’s the quiet, constant thing that whispers: keep going.

I've mention the book The Obstacle Is the Way in a previous post, and how inspirational it has been since loosing our chickens to the bird flu. There's a part of this book that keeps looping in my head:

“Letters used to be signed Deo volente—God willing. Because who knew what would happen? Think of George Washington, putting everything he had into the American Revolution, and then saying, 'The event is in the hand of God.' Or Eisenhower, writing to his wife on the eve of the Allied invasion at Sicily: 'Everything we could think of has been done, the troops are fit, everybody is doing his best. The answer is in the lap of the gods.'”

These were not men who played small. They didn’t shrug their shoulders and wait for someone else to handle it.They gave it everything they had. And then, they let go.

That’s where I’m trying to live. Doing everything I know how to do. Leaving nothing on the table. And then... releasing the outcome. Because it's becoming increasingly clear that we are not hear because of the things we have done.

Even if people think we're being insane, foolish or irrational. Even if I think I might be.

Faith doesn’t mean pretending the risks aren’t real. It means acknowledging them fully, and still saying yes. Still taking the next step. Still believing that something bigger is possible.

The event is in the hand of God. And we’ll go from there.